god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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