This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
