I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
