ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
