I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.