when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize