Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
