I cockslap morals
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
