oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
my poor anus
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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