Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
