is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I know her cup size but not her name....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
