Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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