I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
