anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
