So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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