You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
