i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
