I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
