Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
