I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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