I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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