she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
