You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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