Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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