FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
