so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
