Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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