Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize