Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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