I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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