Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I will pee on everything he values.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
