Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
