he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
