I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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