i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
