can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
