the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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