dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
