She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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