At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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