I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We're facebook friends in real life
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize