Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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