you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
