I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
