no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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