Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize