wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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