We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
