he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
