best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize