last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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