I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They have beer where we have blood.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
