You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
