it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
