No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
