hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
