is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
