Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
